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Report by: Bert Whitson

This is definitely one to forget – but I felt the need to put it all down on paper for future reference. Probably too much detail – read on if you wish, or just skip to the pathetic result at the bottom.

This race took me to the highest emotional high – built up over the first 18 miles – to the lowest low in a matter of seconds. It would be an understatement to say that I was ahead of target pace before it all came crashing down. I felt great physically and psychologically – my confidence was building with every mile.

I jogged a mile and a half warmup – my legs felt fantastic, loose – better than they've felt in a month. I was very pumped-up – ready to roll. I jogged past Dean, Brian P, and Bruce R as I approached the starting line – I didn't mean to be anti-social guys, but I was totally in the zone (the “Bert zone"), and I didn't want anyone taking me out of that state. I shoved my way to the front of the crowd at the starting line (which wasn't that hard – runners are really skinny).

My minimum goal was a 3hr marathon – that's an average 6:52 per mile – and the plan was to start slower (maybe 7:00-7:15) then speed up a little after mile 5. Gun went off (actually a cowbell - retarded), I got out well, comfortable – first mile split: 5:50 (WTF?!?!?). I was convinced that the mile marker was way off. Nonetheless, I took a little off the pace – everyone (and I mean everyone) told me the biggest rookie mistake is to go out too fast. So I told myself to “slow the f*%& down!" 2nd mile split: 6:08 (HOLY SH&%!!!). That mile marker must have been off too – I felt really, really comfortable, but I told myself to tuck to cajones away and save them for the last 10K – so I slowed down more. 3rd mile: 6:03 (What?!?!). There was a little downhill involved – that must've been the reason. I decided pull back a little, but not much. Miles 4-7: 6:13, 6:12, 6:12, 6:12… I was comfortable with the pace and my legs felt great. Bari told me I'd feel like I was “floating" after my taper – and that's pretty much how I felt. I slowed-down a little to slurp-up a pack of Gu on mile 8: 6:20, then resumed on miles 9-12: 6:12, 6:16, 6:15, 6:08.

At mile 11, the half marathoners peeled-off, so I was running alone, which made pacing a little more challenging. I thought that last mile was a little aggressive, so I let off the accelerator. But in the back of my mind I was also thinking, “What's the worst that could happen? A Breckenridge-esque bonk (a-la SD 2008)? No way - definitely not in the cards considering how good I felt."

However, the one thing I neglected to practice during my training was drinking from a cup while running – and I am a clumsy idiot. Every time I grabbed a cup, I squeezed a little too hard, squished the cup, and half the water went up and out… Then, trying to drink, I would splash half the remaining water onto my face or my singlet. Needless to say, I was not getting much into my mouth – very likely a major cause of my ultimate downfall…

As I realized I was probably not getting enough fluids, I started walking a few strides each time I drank – which slowed-down miles 13-14: 6:33, 6:20 – still feeling great. Mile 15-16: 6:27 (gradual uphill), 6:18. Miles 17-18 went through Cal State Long Beach – one of my alma maters. I was cheered by several of my old college classmates, I saw my college track coach – I was happy to see everyone. There was a somewhat serious hill, and I was cautioning myself to keep plenty in reserve so the pace was so-so: 6:19, 6:27. I was actually happy with those splits because of the hill – and I felt great!

Going into the race, I told myself (and many of you) that I would make a decision at mile 18 on weather to start picking it up. I felt like there was plenty left in the tank – like I could put the hammer down on the last 10K and bring down my average overall pace. Mile 19 had a downhill – I had earned it!

With the song “It's Hammer Time" by MC Hammer running through my head, I started to accelerate just a bit, then bam! Hamstring cramp – pretty bad. I had to stop, walk for 30 seconds. The cramp released a little – enough to jog down the hill – but it was very tight.

I was shocked. I could not believe what was happening. After walking, I trotted to an 8:00 19th mile. It felt like it might loosen up – so I calculated what it would take to still go under 2:55 at the finish – answer: around 6:50 – should be cake walk considering my energy level. Then right when I started to turn it on, it happened again – this time a little worse. Stop, wait for the hammy to release, massage it out, walk, jog, mile 20 was 8:06. Now I started thinking “what would I have to average over the last 10K to break 3hrs? Only 7:20 per mile… if the hammy loosens up, that's definitely doable. This thought kept me going. But a half mile later, again – excruciating this time – when the hammy grabbed, it was completely locked-up – felt like if I were to take a good solid stride it would rip in half. Another mile later, the other hammy cramped. Both calves turned into knots. I had to stop at least once on every mile all the way home.